'between she and me' (wrong)
'between her and me'(Correct)between” is a preposition. That means it starts a prepositional phrase. For instance: I got a flat tire between here and the office. “Between here and the office” is the phrase. Prepositions are followed by “objects. Never “subjects. And say… between her and me
Grammar Guide: Why "Between You and I" is a Big Mistake
Just between you and me, a really bad error in English is all caused by the word “between.”
For some unknown reason, lots of people want to say: between you and I… between she and I… between me and him… between he and I… all of these are, of course, WRONG.
And, it’s so easy to get these right. Let’s look.
The word “between” is a preposition. A preposition is a word like: in, of, on, about, after, - and a lot more. A prepositional phrase is like the following: in the store, of my own, on the bus, etc.
Sorry for getting technical, but it gets easy soon.
So, “between” is a preposition. That means it starts a prepositional phrase. For instance: I got a flat tire between here and the office. “Between here and the office” is the phrase.
Now, everybody knows the difference between personal pronouns, right?
SUBJECT OBJECT
I me
you you
he, she, it him, her, it
we us
you you
they them
Prepositions are followed by “objects. Never “subjects.”
There you have it. It’s that easy.
You can’t say:
between you and I say… between you and me
between she and I say… between her and me
between they and me say… between them and me
between he and I say… between him and me
between he and she say… between him and her
Get it? No subjects. Always objects. No exceptions.
Now a word about manners. This is not really a grammar rule, but one of traditional manners. Just as it’s polite to hold a door open for someone else, in a prepositional phrase, put the other person first, then yourself.
Don’t say:
between me and her say… between her an me (the other person comes first, you last)
between me and them say… between them and me
Make sense? Now you just have to practice.
Which sentences contain a “between” error?
1. Just between you and me, Richard didn’t care.
2. He asked that the work be divided between she and Henry.
3. The Pope called for peace between us and them.
4. A treaty between the French and them was signed.
5. Among all of us, I think the most work was done between she and I.
Sentences 2 and 5 are incorrect. Sentence 3 should read “between them and us,” placing the other party before ourselves.
EZ Grammar Guide is meant to be a non-technical, easy explanation of common errors found in written English.
Between you and me
A common mistake in spoken English is to say ‘between you and I’, as in this sentence:
X It’s a tiny bit boring, between you and I.
In standard English, it’s grammatically correct to say ‘between you and me’ and incorrect to say ‘between you and I’. The reason for this is that a preposition such as between should be followed by an objective pronoun (such as me, him, her, and us) rather than a subjective pronoun (such asI, he, she, and we). Saying ‘between you and I’ is grammatically equivalent to saying ‘between him and she’, or ‘between we’, which are both clearly wrong.
People make this mistake because they know it’s not correct to say, for example, ‘John and me went to the shops’. They know that the correct sentence would be ‘John and I went to the shops’. But they then mistakenly assume that the words ‘and me’ should be replaced by ‘and I’ in all cases.
Remember: the correct expression is ‘between you and me’:
√ It’s a tiny bit boring, between you and me.
Hi! Quite interesting and clarifying!
ReplyDeleteAs a Spaniard, my major source of English comes from Internet posts. I just realized a few moments ago, I was clueless as to what the proper form is for pronouns following "between". Somehow both subjective and objective forms sounded unfamiliar and bad to me, I guess perhaps, because the rule isn't as widely spread over native speakers. So that was clarifying. Thank you.
A couple of remarks:
I think it's worth noting "between" modifies all "conjuction-ed" (joined? Sorry) following pronouns as if they were a single unit. So it's e.g.: "between her and us", not "between her and we", and "between them nor me", not "between them nor I".
As for the manners "rule", or rather protocol or habit, its usage is, as far as I know, so extended between Spanish speakers, I came to believe English didn't honor such rule at all, or even that it's actually customary to use the first person before others.
I think it's also worth noting the case where three or more nouns/pronouns are being used. I never heard of such specific protocol, but I often just extrapolate and cite "relative-wise" far non-present ones first, close non-present ones second, far present ones third and close present ones last. Therefore, assuming I'm the political leader in an American party: "The Russian government, the American government, our political party and I, have agreed to sign a treaty." It doesn't make much sense, but I think you'll get my point.
Also, I thought using "me", when it comes second or last to a part of the subject was acceptable. E.g.: "My friends and me can run".
I don't personally think grammar is all that important in life; but if I were to consider it's importance alone and not against other things, then I think native English speakers do have a serious problem with the aforementioned two matters. I believe all languages today in the Internet are being crowded with misspelling and gramatical errors. But as a non-native English speaker, I realize and I can state that the aforementioned mistakes are more than just a bit of noise in the crowd; they're actually so widespread it's confusing and disturbing.
Lastly, I have a question: Is there any instance where "between" could be used as part of the subject? If so, should still the pronouns' form be objective? I don't think so. I know this is possible in Spanish, but I don't think you would use in English "Between you and I will conquer the world", but perhaps "Between you and me, we'll conquer the world" (or would that be "between you and I"?), or rather "The world will be conquered between you and me", or "The world will be conquered by us". I actually think in English there's no such function as a subject for "between", but you would rather use "Both you and I will conquer the world", or simply "You and I will conquer the world". In its Spanish usage, the significance lies in emphasizing that the task will be shared by the subjects; this is like inferring that the middle ground between the subjects acts, on equal distance from each, on their behalf. But I guess this notion doesn't exist in English "between". If it does, please, tell me so! Actually any light on the matter will be most appreciated!
Best regards,
oxi
"Don’t say: between me and her say… between her an me (the other person comes first, you last)"
ReplyDeleteA typical internet interpretation of Grammar... and not actually correct. Internet interpretations of grammar, taken up with gusto by the likes of Grammarly, fail to take into account writing style. There are plenty of works stretching back hundreds of years (incl translations of A Thousand and One Nights) where 'between me and her ' is expressed.